found this on rojaks and really appreciated the humour it brought along, the topic of this blog explains itself so i dun need to tell u again wat it is about,  enjoy :

1. I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

2. I no longer drink Pepsi since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.

3. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

4. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

5. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

6. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

7. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

8. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda and Uzbekistan.

9. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

10. I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

11. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

12. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

13. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $1,500,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.